These days, I’m noticing more how much I’m unfamiliar with comfort and convenience at the body level. Brief comfort/convenience? Sure. But constant, matter-of-fact, natural comfort/convenience? Not as much.
Granted, this is already a huge improvement. This, me noticing it. At least I don’t automatically assume that life is supposed to be a grind. That would be a state in which one does not allow oneself to feel comfort/convenience in a reliable manner because one thinks it’s impossible or immoral or whatever.
Anyway, comfort and convenience. I noticed that until recently, I was able to feel comfort/convenience but then reverted back to assuming that I had to do something to get them. But the thing is, that in and of itself isn’t very comfortable/convenient, so it defeats the purpose.
So I’m allowing myself to get used to comfort/convenience more and more. Really, it’s kinda funny that comfort/convenience is something to get used to, but I’m not talking about trying to get used to it, exactly. It really feels different from chasing. It’s more like stopping the act of telling myself that I must chase.
I noticed that my body feels almost nervous from not feeling nervous. That’s interesting. That said, I’m not into using the body as a condition. That’s no different from using the grind culture as a condition. So, I’m not advocating being clingy with the body. However, unless a person is into detaching themselves completely from bodily experiences (which is not what I’m interested in), the body *is* connected to what I am. Therefore, I don’t think it hurts to pay attention to body signals.
Anyway, this noticing itself is helping me get used to comfort/convenience more and more. Believe it or not, “Everything working out” was something I found uncomfortable and even inconvenient in the strangest way–but not anymore.