A 1st person protagonist is no different from if I were to meet a person on the street. They would address themselves as “I,” and I immediately know that they, to me, are “you.” In other words, because they are “I” to them, they aren’t “I” to me. Their “I”ness in their physical representation proves to me (or more like, I have accepted it as the rule of the game) that they are separate from me.
Meanwhile, 3rd person is when I really do feel that the character could be me. They have a name in the story, yes, which is different from mine. But I could be that name. I could be that body.
For this current WIP, the “1st person versus 3rd person” choice is a big deal. She has a shell, the protagonist. However, is that shell her?
Using 1st person and thereby allowing her to address herself as “I” would have been very different from using 3rd person and me making it clear who she defaults to despite supposedly “having lost herself.” As in, the 3rd person storytelling is kind of a spoiler from the very first sentence. A very reassuring spoiler, I would say, in the sense that despite all the “I don’t know what to do,” oh, she knows. She knows enough.
I like to think that this is how we live life. We may feel lost, but we aren’t lost.
So, yes, right now I’m using 3rd person for this novel. But it would’ve been equally interesting to use 1st person. But the other day, I was looking for new books to read, and all ten books that I “looked inside” were from the 1st person. There is nothing wrong with 1st person, of course. It’s just that, sometimes I want 3rd person! Maybe I use 3rd person so much because I see 1st person too much?
At any rate, one useful tool in life is realizing that “I” am not “I” in this physical representation. That could be another reason I prefer 3rd person.
(Example: When I get hit by a car and break all my limbs, sure, I am experiencing that suffering body, but to say that I will forever be stuck with that representation is simply untrue. But it can feel like the suffering will last forever, which is when it comes handy to know that “I” am not this body trapped in this one frame of life. She lies in bed with all her limbs broken, while I am one who can be her yet also see her healed. Really, it’s a win-win for her and me.)