She is thinking some “bad” things. I wouldn’t call her an anti-hero; there are some protagonists who do some truly messed-up, dark things, and Christine isn’t doing any of that. She isn’t setting villages on fire. She is just… being normal. She is thinking “bad” things about others–which is, in many cultures, more taboo than thinking bad things about oneself. How tragic and hilarious.
Until chapter 5 or 10, I was really worried about “What will people think?!” As in, what will people think about me if and when I write Christine in a way that makes it clear that she isn’t all unicorns and rainbows? But I’m in Chapter 15 right now (these chapter numbers might change in the future) and I’m okay if people dislike Christine. Actually, if someone dislikes Christine because she is a “bad person,” most likely I would find such a someone utterly uninteresting. I’ll be happy hanging out with my Christine, who abandons passive-aggressively, who craves attention, and who is, frankly, a bit pathetic. But pathetic in a good way. At least she doesn’t rely on unicorns and rainbows for her existence.
Also, one day, I would love to write about a protagonist who sets villages on fire.